June 19th Beck Hollow Shelter

June 19th, Beck Hollow Shelter

How many time does one have to think about quitting before they quit, so far, several hundred times has not been enough. I have thoughts like, I really do not have to do this, it is comfortable back in WIS, my body is too weak, I am too slow, I will never get the trail done at this rate, etc, but mainly it was the feeling that was dumb to be doing this when I could be comfortable somewhere else, and at this stage of my life, there is no requirement to do this kind of challenge. It is not the ego trip of the AT, I don't find myself thinking of myself as superior to others like I did on the AT, I am just an old man, stumbling along alone on this path that is worn, but I have not seen anyone else hiking on. I changed my goal today from hiking the whole trail to seeing how many miles I can hike in 6 weeks. That took a load off my psyche. I have found that my body is much more limited than 10 years ago on the AT. I reached a point of exhaustion, where no amount of will power could make me go faster, I found that if I pushed even a little too much, the exhaustion got worse. I stumbled along the trail verses walk, hike, or stroll. There is a line that if I go past it, I fade. I stop often, sometimes only after 30 yards, sometimes I make 100 yards, especially on the uphill side, even going down hill is hard work at this point. I learned how wise I was to stop last night, when I got to the top of the ridge; I missed a white blaze and took the NCT, which is easy, since they overlap often. Anyway, I came down hill on the NCT rather than the FLT. Met 3 men out for a day hike; they aimed in the right direction. I got to the parking lot they told me about and a map, which did not show the FLT. I flagged down a young maintaince man, who took me to the office, and gave me water. We checked out the map with someone else at the park, he then took me over to the start of the FLT. I probably missed 2 miles of the FLT trail but in keeping with my new goal that was ok. I got to the shelter, late afternoon, shortly there after, 8 boy scouts came in with their hammocks. They were a well-behaved group. Their packs were a mess, i.e. too heavy, and unbalanced, I have seen this before. I did not attempt a Yogi Bear, they were all hungry, but it would have been nice to have a little seasoning for my dinner. Heard some coyotes near by during the night, also heard an owl.